A lot of creative writers—even intermediate and advanced writers—struggle to create engaging sentences. Issues with variety in sentences can make writing feel dull and colorless, despite how exciting the story might be. Take a look at this sample prose:
Risha prepared herself to cast a spell. She looked down at her wand, which was usually silent but now sounded shrill and bee-like. She held up her wand with both trembling hands. She felt apprehensive about her ability to perform the magic spell with accuracy. She was worried that she would fail and that something terrible would happen. As she held the wand above her head, Risha rose up on her toes and invoked the magic inside her. She watched blue sparks shoot out from the tip of her wand, and she gazed at magical transformations happening all around her. She had turned the rocks into jewels, the insects into fairies, and the trees into towers. Risha had never felt so powerful. She stopped using magic only once she had collapsed from exhaustion. As Risha thought about the magic she had just performed, she smiled.
This prose is not nearly as engaging as it could be. While there are various issues present, the continued use of the same sentence subject creates a lack of sentence variety and makes the reading experience feel like a bit of a slog.
Remember that a sentence subject is who or what a sentence is about. Up above, all of the sentences are about Risha. Because of this, the writing feels repetitive and colorless.
Here are three simple tips you could use to play with your sentence subjects, add some sentence variety, and liven up this prose. After reading through the tips, be sure to check out the creative writing prompts at the bottom of this post!
*Please note that this specific blog post is intended to provide creative writing tips for intermediate or advanced writers who are already familiar with the basics of sentence variety and with terminology about parts of speech and sentence parts; if you’d like some creative writing tips for beginners, stay tuned for future posts! Also stay tuned for some terminology guides with examples, which will be published in the very near future.
Creative writing tip #1: Vary your subjects.
As mentioned up above, many of the sentences from the above passage begin with the same subject: Risha or the pronoun “she” (which still represents Risha). The use of the same subject can make your writing feel monotonous and quickly bore readers.
Here are three ways to vary your sentence subjects:
1-1. Make another noun in your sentence the main subject.
The easiest way to come up with another main subject for your sentence is to locate another noun or noun phrase/clause in your sentence and rearrange the sentence so that that noun or noun phrase/clause becomes the main subject. Here are some sentence variety examples using varied subjects to create variety:
- “She worried about her ability to perform the magic spell with accuracy.” → “Her ability to perform the magic spell with accuracy worried her.”
- “She held up her wand with both hands.” → “Both of her hands held up the wand.”
Please note that since the sample prose is all focused on Risha and what she is doing with her wand, many of the sentences don’t even require the addition of her as a subject, because readers will already know her role in the sentence. Whenever you are writing prose focused on a specific character (or characters), look at the sentences that describe what they are looking at, feeling, hearing, smelling, or tasting. You might be able to show that a character is experiencing these sensations without including the character in the sentence. Here is an example:
- “She watched blue sparks shoot out from the tip of her wand.” → “Blue sparks shot out from the tip of her wand.”
In the context of the prose, readers will be able to tell that Risha is watching the blue sparks erupt from the wand without the sentence explicitly stating it.
1-2. Make a verb in your sentence the main subject.
You can also make a verb in your sentence the main subject by turning it into a gerund. A gerund is a verb ending in -ing that has become a noun because it functions as a noun.
- “As Risha thought about the magic she had just performed, she smiled.” → “Thinking about the magic she’d just performed made Risha smile.”
Now, the subject is “thinking.” Although this word often functions as a verb, in the above sentence, it now functions as a noun that serves as the sentence’s subject. Here is another example:
- “Risha rose up on her toes and invoked the magic inside her.” → “Rising up on her toes helped Risha invoke the magic inside her.”
1-3. Come up with a new main subject for your sentence.
You can also come up with a new main subject using a noun that is not already present in your sentence. Consider what the sentence is about, and try to discern what other nouns are present during the scene and what other nouns might take part in the action(s) being described. Think about the people, places, things, and ideas the sentence features as subtext. What other things are present? Are there any smells present, for example, and could one of those smells become the main subject? How is the character feeling, both physically and mentally? Could a physical or mental feeling become the subject? Are there any additional scenic details that could be added to the sentence with the addition of a new subject?
Here is an example:
- “She was worried that she would fail and that something terrible would happen.” → “Thoughts of failure, of something terrible happening, swirled around in her mind.”
Although the noun “thoughts” isn’t present in the first sentence, it is part of the sentence’s subtext. Here’s another example:
- “Goosebumps covered Risha’s arms as thoughts of failure swirled around in her mind.”
In this sentence, I’ve added an entirely new subject that wasn’t even present in the immediate subtext. I thought more deeply about how Risha might have been feeling, both physically and mentally, as she worried, and I decided that she would probably experience goosebumps. So, I decided to make “goosebumps” the new subject of my sentence. What other subjects could be used?
Varying your sentence subject is arguably one of the best ways to bring variety to your sentences, as this method draws your readers’ attention to the various people, place, ideas, and things in your scenes. However, there are more ways to play around with your sentence subjects. Here is another:
Creative writing tip #2: Invert your sentences.
Another great way to play with your sentence subjects and vary your sentences is to invert your sentences. The typical format for a sentence is subject → verb → object/complement (sentences don’t always contain objects or complements). Inverting your sentences means rearranging your sentence so that the main subject comes after the verb that describes its action (i.e., that describes what it is doing or being). Sometimes, this means that even the object or complement will come before the subject. Even though inverted sentences still contain the same main subject that their un-inverted forms contain, the two sentences sound starkly different from one another.
Here are three specific ways to invert your sentences:
2-1. Rearrange the sentence so it begins with a preposition.
One way to invert sentences containing prepositions or prepositional phrases/clauses is to begin the inverted sentence with that preposition or prepositional phrase/clause. Here’s the formula:
Preposition (or prepositional phrase/clause) + verb + subject.
Here are some examples:
- “Risha rose up on her toes.” → “Up on her toes rose Risha.”
- “Blue sparks shot out from the tip of her wand.” → “From the tip of her wand shot blue sparks.”
2-2. Rearrange the sentence so it begins with an adjective.
One way to invert sentences containing adjectives or adjective phrases/clauses is to begin the inverted sentence with that adjective or adjective phrase/clause. Here is the formula:
Adjective (or adjective phrase/clause) + verb + subject.
Here are some examples:
- “She looked down at her wand, which was usually silent but now sounded shrill and bee-like.” → “Shrill and bee-like was the usually silent wand.”
- “Risha felt so strange after her collapse that she remained on the ground.” → “So strange did Risha feel after her collapse that she remained on the ground.”
2-3. Rearrange the sentence so it begins with an adverb.
One way to invert sentences containing adverbs or adverb phrases/clauses is to begin the inverted sentence with that adverb or adverb phrase/clause. Here is the formula:
Adverb (or adverb phrase/clause) + verb + subject.
Here are some examples:
- “Risha had never felt so powerful.” → “Never had Risha felt so powerful.”
- “Risha stopped using magic only once she had collapsed from exhaustion.” → “Only once she had collapsed from exhaustion did Risha stop using magic.”
Those are three ways you might invert your sentences. While inverted sentences can be useful, the overuse of these sentences could make your prose sound clunky and/or strange. The best way to use inverted sentences is to sprinkle them carefully into your writing. Here’s one more way to play with your sentence subjects:
Creative writing tip #3: Rearrange the sentence to use passive construction instead of active construction
Another way to play with your subjects and create more sentence variety is to use passive construction. When you change a sentence that uses active construction into a sentence that uses passive construction, you are essentially switching the subject with the object so that the new subject (previously the object) is no longer being the actor (i.e., doing the action) but rather being acted upon. To do this, you will no longer use an active verb but rather a form of the verb to be + a past participle.
Here are two ways to create passive construction:
3-1. Keep the subject.
Here is the basic formula for creating a passive sentence construction that keeps the original subject (this formula might contain additional elements):
new subject (which is the previous object) + form of verb “to be” + past participle + prepositional phrase (which is “by” + “original subject”)
Here are some examples:
- “Risha’s shaking hands raised the glowing wand skyward.” → “The glowing wand was raised skyward by Risha’s shaking hands.”
- “Risha’s magic transformed the rocks into jewels, the insects into fairies, and the trees into towers.” → “The rocks were transformed into jewels, the insects into fairies, and the trees into towers by Risha’s magic.”
3-2. Eliminate the subject.
In some cases, you can omit the original subject from the sentence. Here is the basic formula (again, this can contain additional elements:
new subject (which is the previous object) + form of verb “to be” + past participle
Here are some examples:
- “Risha’s shaking hands raised the glowing wand skyward.” → “The glowing wand was raised skyward.”
- “Risha’s magic transformed the rocks into jewels, the insects into fairies, and the trees into towers.” → “The rocks were transformed into jewels, the insects into fairies, and the trees into towers.”
Now, you’ve probably heard that passive construction is bad. And in many cases, that can be true. However, there are many justifiable reasons to use passive construction. If the actor (the subject doing the acting) isn’t known, passive construction can be used: “The young boy was kidnapped.” ←We don’t know who kidnapped the boy, so the passive construction makes sense. Another great reason to use passive construction is if you want to highlight the person or thing being acted upon. In the examples above, I want to draw my readers’ attention to the wand, the rocks, the insects, and the trees. Passive voice becomes problematic when it creates clunky sentences or when there is no justifiable reason for the object being acted upon to become the subject.
Using passive construction occasionally in creative writing to highlight the things being acted upon can add more sentence variety to your writing. If you overuse it, your writing will sound clunky and possibly strange. If you artfully weave it into your prose, though, you’ll add more texture and rhythm.
How to improve sentence variety using sentence subjects: A recap
Now that we’ve covered some creative writing advice for improving sentence variety and playing around with sentence subjects, let’s think about the sample prose from the beginning of the post. Here is what the original sample prose from the beginning of the blog post could look like if we enacted some of the revisions we discussed:
Risha picked up her wand and prepared herself to cast a spell. Shrill and bee-like was the sound emanating from the usually silent wand. The noise only made her feel more apprehensive about her ability to perform the magic spell with accuracy. Goosebumps covered her arms as thoughts of failure swirled around in her mind. As she held the wand above her head, Risha rose up on her toes and invoked the magic inside her. From the tip of her wand shot blue sparks, and magical transformations began happening all around her. The rocks were turned to jewels, the insects to fairies, and the trees to towers. Never had Risha felt so powerful. Only once she had collapsed from exhaustion did she stop using magic. Thinking about the magic she’d just performed made her smile.
While other improvements could still be made to this prose in order to strengthen it, playing around with each of the sentence subjects has really helped to get rid of repetition and add some color to the prose.
For some creative writing prompts, either 1) try playing around with the sentence subjects in the sample prose from the beginning of the post or 2) try revising your writing or someone else’s writing using the three creative writing tips and techniques discussed above. You can also 3) pay attention to how your own favorite authors employ these methods.
I hope you enjoyed this blog post! If you have any questions or suggestions for future blog posts, drop a comment below. I intend to write more posts containing creative writing tips, including posts with some beginner-level tips.